It Had to Be a Special Bike
Since 1969 I had owned six different bikes including four Hondas, a Yamaha and a Triumph. The first was a 175 cc Honda Scrambler; the last one was a 1976 Gold Wing 1000 with a handlebar fairing (from Wixom) and a luggage rack. 50,000 trouble-free miles on that one marvelous mount alone.
But several events conspired to provoke the sale of the Gold Wing and the “permanent” retirement of my boots in 1979. A riding buddy had been killed in an high-speed, solo accident in the mountains of northern Colorado on a Kawasaki Z1. It was his fault but that didn’t lessen the sting. Additionally, I had stopped into the local Honda dealer and took out a brand new CBX for a test ride. Third gear at 100 mph with two left and me barely hanging on ….. that’ll get you to thinking conservatively at the ripe old age of 28: “What’s gonna happen if that front tire lets go right now?” Finally the impending move to Texas, where everybody knows its way too H-O-T to ride motorcycles, cemented the decision. I sold the Wing and bought a Texas-sized pickup truck.
As anybody who rides motorcycles knows, the attraction, the fun, the affliction never really wears off once you’ve tasted two wheeling. Over the ensuing years I’ve done my share of watching bikes on the road, secretly wishing to get back on two wheels. Gold Wings have evolved into luxury liners. Harley’s still make a lot of ugly noise and vibrate themselves apart idling at traffic lights (some things never change). And two-stroke street bikes have gone the way of the dinosaur. Remember the Kawasaki 500 triple? Remember the Norton Commando and the “isolastic super ride” girls?
In 1999, and over twenty years after selling the Gold Wing, I happened to see a very intriguing bike at a cell phone store. It had that same distinctive flat engine but seemed to have grown a couple of more cylinders. Was it a Gold Wing converted to carry a Porsche engine? Soon the identity of the Valkyrie in front of me was evident; the proud owner saw me eying his steed and took a break from installing car kits to come over and brag about his dragon. This bike was downright coercive! My long-dormant, two-wheel affliction was trying to resurface; once again …. I ignored it with “better judgment”.
But just a few weeks ago, something really snapped in my head. It does that about every ten years or so. One decade it was flying aerobatic airplanes. Another it was a 1984 Corvette. All fun for sure, but different from the exhilaration felt when guiding a nimble motorcycle down a twisty country road. I started combing the Internet and reading bike magazines. Found the VRCC and F6Rider sites and learned that the interesting 6-cylinder hot rod from Honda was now out of production! What to do? A quick trip to our local Honda dealer confirmed 2003 as the final year of production, but uncovered two used Valkyrie tourers with 20,000 miles on them, both for sale. I picked out the better of the two and asked for a test ride. The sales kid said: “NO, we don’t give test rides.” Things have changed in 25 years methinks. I “kindly” thanked the boy saying that I wouldn’t even consider buying a bike that I couldn’t test ride …. particularly a used one and a model that I had never actually ridden before.
Some quick internet research located a friendlier dealer about 100 miles away who did offer test rides. So Saturday off we went on another adventure. The first test ride was on a ’99 Valkyrie Tourer and was it sweet. Smooth, fast and well behaved. Plus it looks like real motorcycle!
Being the perceptive sort and “knowing” my demographics, the sales guy gently suggested that we take the 2004 Gold Wing out for a spin … it was fire engine red with every option imaginable including cup holders, CD player, and a CB radio! Both my wife and I had the same reaction to this new Gold Wing: those fairing vents are really nice, but there is no cold air coming out! Very luxurious but not my cup of tea.
Also through the Internet, I had found a dealer in the Midwest who had ten 2003 standard Valkyries brand new for sale at about the same price as this used ’99. That seemed to be the way to go. Down went a deposit right away.
With a total of about 30 miles of recent two-wheeled practice under my belt, I booked the one-way airline flight, reserved the hotel and set out to pickup “Dragon Lady”. Walking into the dealership not really knowing what to expect, it was amazing …. the bike was there, and it really was new! One mile on the odometer. I fell into a really good deal here; a week later there were only two of the original ten Valk’s left.
But it was Friday before the Labor Day holiday weekend and my windshield had not arrived! Needing to be back at work Tuesday, waiting around several days for UPS was not an option. The sales guy apologized for having neither the windshield nor any face shields. He did mention there was a Harley dealer a few miles down the road that might have a universal 5-snap shield for my bright and shiny new helmet.
We closed the deal; they will forward the windshield when it arrives. Should be no trouble to ride 900 miles in three days; we’ll go slow … Back in the dark ages, the only bike I ever rode with a fairing was the Gold Wing. Wind in the face trips all over Colorado on the CL175, the CB360 and CB750 had been fun.
But that was 30 years ago and well before grey hair; so it’s off to the Harley place ….. musta made a wrong turn somewhere, cause this is a clothing store and it looks like Neiman Marcus (aka Needless Markup) …. marble floor and indirect lighting .... no, it really is a Harley dealer; several people are glaring warily at that black & chrome Valkyrie out front. They do sell face shields, though.
Finally we’re on the road! This thing is amazing. 700+ pounds and she negotiates the twisty back roads of south central Missouri without effort. Never over 4000 rpm and never over 60 mph for the first couple of hundred miles but this old man is having fun! I miss a turn or two and get lost three different times but it doesn’t matter. After 240 miles, the first night’s stopover is in northwestern Arkansas and the hotel’s whirlpool bath is very welcome indeed.
Up very early next morning to get a head start on the long day. First, let’s clean yesterday’s bugs off of the Harley face shield; it snaps in two from the heavy stress of a wet hand towel. Yes again; some things never change. And it only cost only $16!
After a sumptuous breakfast at Mickey D’s just before dawn, southbound we go. I’d forgotten the early morning country smells and the subtle variations in temperature felt as you go up and down the hills. By 10 AM, “Dragon Lady” has transported me into central Arkansas and we stop at a small-town Honda dealer for a right and proper face shield and a tank of gas. Pretty good mileage: 38 mpg! Still deferring to the break-in period, we haven’t gotten into the carbs or the tach much yet; having the patience of a greybeard has its advantages.
The second afternoon is a surprise bonus ride through the Ouachita National Forest of eastern Oklahoma. A respite from the heat, plus some really nice scenery. Similar to a cross between a pine forest and the rolling grassy hills of Kentucky. I’m getting confident with these turns as it becomes easier to hold a constant lean angle and speed through the sweeping vistas. Pretty soon there’s an approaching light in the rear view mirror. It’s probably not the law since there is only one headlight. Who should zip by but a guy on an 1800 Gold Wing carrying a nice looking, half-dressed passenger and dragging a camper trailer. Talk about being instantly humbled ! I try to keep up for a while but quickly decide that riding my own ride is prudent at this stage. Day two ends uneventfully late in the afternoon south of Tyler in east Texas. 500 miles today and still in the mid thirties on gas mileage. It is hot, I’m tired and there are approaching thunderheads off to the west. But its less than 200 miles to the house from here. Should be an easy to arrive home by noon tomorrow.
Up early again after a good rest, I peer out the hotel window and see double. Parked right next to “Dragon Lady” is a second big black bike oriented in exact formation. This is great ! Not only is the Valkyrie amazingly smooth and capable on the highway, she reproduces when you’re not looking! Out of the hotel early, I find the seat all wet from a heavy dew. Musta rained hard last night. The stable mate turns out to be a V-twin Yamaha.
A few miles down the road, the extent of the morning’s humidity becomes evident. The ranchers’ fields on either side of the road are blanketed in a thickening layer of fog. Pretty soon visibility is down as the fog drifts in over the highway. It’s eerily quiet now and I’m busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger trying to wipe the face shield and my glasses clean of moisture every couple of hundred yards. We’re down under 40 mph. From the dark mist a form looms up not far off the shoulder. Its time to pull over.
With eager anticipation, I recall Daniel’s adventures in “Valkyrie Magic”. Stepping quickly through the mental checklist: the bike is a dragon, yep; it’s really dark out, yep; this is Texas, yep; the rider fits the profile, yep; (I’m also an engineer and a pilot.) …. But alas, no expectant redhead awaits; the only similarity that can be said of the form that comes into clear focus is that it’s female. I shut down the big flat six and wait for daylight to lift the fog. Bessie the cow looks moos inquisitively through her fence, watching me and wondering what this madman on the iron dragon is doing parked next to her field on such quiet and misty morning.
A couple of hours later, the trip is over. An engaging Labor Day adventure. 875 miles total with less than 75 of these on interstates. …. and it most certainly IS a very special bike that has enticed an old man back to two wheels after 25 years away !
Dave in Texas
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