Saddlesore 1000

I am soon to turn that grand age of 50 and have been forced, because of a heart attack last June, to slow down and learn how to again, smell the roses (I can smell now because they took my Kool’s away). I live in Monticello, Kentucky a small town in the South Central part of the state that borders Lake Cumberland to the West and the Tennessee Stateline to the South.

I have owned motorcycles since the day I turned 18 when I bought a Honda CB350, and honestly have not been without one since. I had not spent much time in the saddle in awhile, you know there is a difference between owning and riding. But my cardiologist (Lord love him) told me I had to take time off away from the business. As luck would have it, I had bought a totaled Valkyrie last Spring and was in the process of rebuilding it in the basement. The Valk became my therapy. While recovering, my son and I finished the rebuild and began counting the days until the doctor would release me to ride this wonderful piece of Japanese (made in Ohio) machinery.

That day came on my birthday, the first of September. After three procedures and a defibrillator imbedded in my chest I was released to live again. I started to ride, really ride again and man what a scooter. I began spending days on the twisty roads of Kentucky and Tennessee, often 300, 400 and 500 mile days, just riding, not knowing where I was going, just riding, eyeballing and enjoying God’s fabulous creation.

In the back of my mind there was a thought brewing, an idea I just could not get away from … Iron Butt Riding. I have been aware of the Iron Butt Association for many years and would see the license plate backs and say, “someday, just wait and see, someday.”

Someday came, after a long winter of planning and waiting for the opportunity to take off on my new adventure, the 19^th day April, 2004. The long winter days when I could do nothing else I would check out the Iron Butt Website, get out the maps and look for a route to give me the needed mileage to complete the challenge. I wanted to find a route that would take me to places I had never been and see things I had never seen. I felt the route needed to be on interstate highways because, in reality, I was not sure I could cover that many miles in the mountains of Kentucky and Tennessee in the 24 hour time frame. Interstates are not for motorcycles, I truly hate riding on the slab. There are just too many cars, locked into automatic pilot, traveling too fast. There is too much to watch for, but this was the price I would pay to claim the prize and achieve the goal I had set for myself.

My selected route through the South reads like the back of a Charley Daniels Tour

T-Shirt… Cookeville… Nashville… Memphis… Jackson… Meridian… Tuscaloosa… Birmingham… Gadsden…Chattanooga.

My route will take me South to Cookeville, Tennessee then to Memphis before I turn South for the next part of the ride. I live 75 miles from my entrance point onto West I40 at Cookeville and I plan to leave just after midnight. At night, if I can dodge the deer, I should be able to make good time on the two lane country roads I must travel. But the real reason for the midnight departure is to arrive in Memphis near daybreak. We all know stretches of highway that we find boring and for me this is the 200 miles from Nashville to Memphis. The road is unending and usually crowded with people in a hurry to get anywhere else. Maybe this is a misconception on my part because there are always several Tennessee State Police officers who are parked on I40 enjoying the scenery in this part of West Tennessee.

My adventure started at my branch bank and a withdrawal from the Automatic Teller. I was really glad the ATMs were included in the rules because there are no 24 hour gas stations in my small town. Then on to the local police station to get my witness form signed by one our finest. They were truly interested in my endeavor and very willing to help, although this helped confirm in their minds certain preconceived ideas about my sanity. At any rate, I was off, 12:48AM.

My plan to leave early in the morning worked well. I was able to travel the first 75 miles fairly unencumbered although, as I feared, I saw several deer along the edge of the road. My theory is that deer have become so over populated, they are becoming socialized. The only problem incurred was when I almost hit a very large possum waddling across my side of the road. Possums are antisocial animals, but fortunately we missed each other and went our separate ways.

My plan was to stop and top off my tank just before I got on I40 at Cookeville. Naturally, the automatic pump had not been reset in many moons and gave me a receipt with a time and date that must have been figured by the Chinese calendar. So, in I go to the station so I can sweet talk this lady at the counter into correcting my receipt. She was very nice, although I learned a good lesson about Iron Butt Riding; always take off the black helmet and jacket when going into a store in the middle of the night. After she determined I posed no threat to her womanhood or cash register, she gladly changed the date to correspond with our solar generated time and date.

I jumped on I40 and was away. I own a small business, and honestly for the next 100 miles I kept thinking about all the things I should be doing and how I just did not have time to go off on this silly adventure. By the time I got to Nashville, I had all those thoughts behind me and was thinking of how bloomin’ cold I was and how I should have put my liner in my riding jacket. When I stopped for fuel, I put on the extra shirt I always carry in my bags, it helped. Make note, next time remember to pack jacket liner.

My plan was to stop for fuel every 100 miles and this worked great on this trip. Although, as I plan future adventures this plan will need to be revised, especially when I try an extreme ride, but the 100 mile plan worked well this time.

With the extra shirt and the brief stop I was warmer and headed toward Memphis, TN, the home of Elvis, Graceland, St. Jude’s, Fed Ex and Corky’s BBQ (Elvis’ favorite). The colorful lights of the Memphis skyline were inspiring as I peered at them over the red neon sign that read “The World Largest Adult Book Store”. But I had to stay on pace, I just could not handle ribs and peep shows at daybreak, this was an Iron Butt ride, not Sturgis.

I turned South on I55 toward Jackson, Mississippi. The country side was lush, the fresh young foliage had that rich green new growth color and as the morning sun hit the trees it was a special time. The countryside, even from a four lane slab, was refreshing. I don’t remember ever crossing so many small creeks and rivers. With the light morning fog rising there was a surreal feeling in the air. By then I was truly glad I had taken the day off and was away, by myself, on this adventure.

I stopped for fuel North of Jackson, MS and went next door to McDonalds and treated myself to a sausage biscuit. I don’t get those often anymore. A pit stop in the little boy’s room and I was ready to roll. The fuel tank full, the sausage in my system had my blood pressure rising and hot coffee circulating through my blood stream reassured me this had the makings of a great day.

In Jackson, the traffic was not bad because it was still early, before work hour congestion. You see, I gained a hour because I live in the Eastern Time Zone and most of the ride was done in the Central Time Zone.

Hanging a hard left at Jackson on East I20 toward Meridian, I was now riding into the sun and I could feel the weatherman’s predictions about the 80+degree day was going to be correct. At the next fuel stop I lost the extra shirt and I was glad the liner was out of my riding jacket, and I started drinking water at every stop. I truly understand how a rider can become dehydrated on a long ride, it has almost happened to me before, but this time I was taking care of the problem before it started.

Traveling from Meridian toward Tuscaloosa and Birmingham, it was so nice to see trees in full growth. I was struck with the reality that this is the first time I have seen green leaves on trees since last October and was lifted up with what was about to happen at home in just a couple of weeks. In Kentucky, it is just turning Spring with the Redbuds and Dogwoods blooming. No color in God’s creation can compare with the color of Redbuds set against the drab greytones of early Spring. But the sight of the vivid green colors of a coming summer lifted my spirits more than I can put into words. I started to dream about all the things I wanted to do during the summer and the miles started to fly by. Perhaps they were flying by too fast because I finally looked down and noticed my speed was somewhat excessive. I slowed down and the black Chevy pickup that had been following me for the last so many miles passed me and gave me one of those, “thanks for the front door” waves, and blew by with a grin on his face. I bet he would have rather been riding my scooter than stuck in his cage.

From Tuscaloosa it is a short haul to Birmingham, but I really did not see any of it because I circled Birmingham on Bypass 459, really the only regret of the day. I had checked the road construction and there was a lot of resurfacing being done on I20 approaching Birmingham and so I had planned to take the bypass. But I saw nothing of the city. Next time in true Iron Butt fashion, I will go through the city and deal with what ever the highways have in store for me.

By the time I got to Gadsden and headed toward Chattanooga, I started to feel that the ride was nearing completion and I had accomplished my goal. Some of my favorite riding roads are through central and east Tennessee and I know the country roads north of Chattanooga very well. It is still a 3 hour ride home, but what a wonderful way to spend a lovely afternoon. Slightly overcast, in the cool of the afternoon, a powerful trustworthy bike, smooth two lane roads, nose toward home, no hurry and no worries.

My route from Chattanooga is HWY 27 through downtown to HWY 111 which runs due North all the way to the Kentucky Stateline. Hwy 111 begins taking you vertical to the top of a very high mountain and then follows the ridges, literally on top of the world, for 30 miles until the road brings you to the other side of the mountain and dumps you down the other side. Honestly, some of the most breathtaking vistas found anywhere are on this steep downhill ride into the growing metropolis of Dunlap, Tennessee.

From the mountain overlook I could see a couple of forest fires, with their clouds of smoke billowing from West to East. It’s already dry this Spring and I could not help but think about the problems the large fires had on the 2003 Iron Butt Rally I had read about. You know what I thought…”someday, just wait and see, someday”. Well maybe, but it will take a lot more seat time.

Across the mountains and through the woods I neared home. I was so pleased and had had such a great day! I really felt like I had accomplished something, I was not sure what, but something special and unique, to me anyway. By the time I got to Monticello I just wanted to go home and see my wife. She had worried about me and really did not want me to try this adventure, with my heart and all, but she did not stand in the way. So I gave her the HONOR of checking me in, 7:03 PM, 1150+ miles according to the mapping programs (the only thing wrong with the Valkyrie is the Speedometer / Odometer works like it was made in Iraq by Ossama’s love child).

Later that evening, I called my son who is away at college and told him about my adventure. He rides sport bikes, an R1, but a motorcycle none-the-less. He says it’s not very comfortable to ride but he looks cool doing it. Over the long winter in the basement garage with the bikes, we had talked a lot about this ride and would someday like to do a 50CC together. We will wait until he doesn’t need to look cool to ride, maybe a Goldwing for me (remember I soon turn 50) and an ST for him.

I learned a lot on this ride. 1) The little things really do get to bugging you…

2) I need to work on fuel break times…3) The Ultimate Big Boy seat I put on the Valk was the second best money I ever spent (only behind my wife’s engagement ring)…